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by Jan Eckles
"How's my little girl?" asked my uncle reaching out to his daughter pulling her close. She giggled and my heart drooled as I watched him give her a loving hug and a kiss. At 10 years of age I cried out in silence for a little of that tenderness. Words of endearment never slipped from my dad's lips. And I never heard a single; "I love you."
Years swept by, and respect and distance would characterize our relationship. Until, that is, I learned that I did receive something from him--the thing that would drastically change my life.
At 13 years of age, my parents and I visited an ophthalmologist. As I sat in the examining chair, my face firmly on the chin rest and with my pupils dilated, he looked into my eyes shining a bright light. "She did inherit it," he said with coldness. "You need to be prepared. There is no cure for this retinal disease."
My father carried the Retinitis Pigmentosa gene causing a deterioration of the retina, which in most cases, results in blindness. Although my brother's retina seemed to be fine, I’d inherited the gene.
Fifteen years after the diagnosis, he began to lose his eyesight and so did I. He, at the age of 55 and I, at 28. In a matter of two years we both lost our sight completely.
I focused on the effects of my own darkness. My world crumbled with anguish as the black curtain fell destroying the dreams my husband and I had for us and for our three little boys. But when I turn to God for hope and strength, He responded by granting me a miracle--the ability to see my world with different eyes. I saw my Dad with my heart. It's true he wasn't the expressive type with sweet and cuddly words. But what he'd given me went beyond words and warm caresses. He gave me the example of determination.
At 35, he had made the decision to move the family from Bolivia to the United States. But faced discouraging opposition from his brothers, "You'll never make it. You don't even speak English!" But he forged on, "I need to make a better life for my family," he announced decisively.
Once in the states, he overcame humiliation, intense loneliness, helplessness and uncertainty. He endured ridicule due to his lack of fluency in English. But he pressed on. And he managed to gather enough money for what was needed--rent a small apartment, buy modest furniture from thrift stores and put a down payment on a car. Nine months later, he sent airline tickets for my mom, my brother and me.
Decades after our arrival and now, without physical sight, my perception of my dad changed. Rather than longing for what he'd not given me, I sighed with gratitude for what he'd shown me. He taught me the determination to move forward when facing adversity. He set an example proving that humility is crucial for success. He demonstrated the commitment to family and the importance of setting priorities.
Looking back, I knew that God had given me the perfect dad--perfect for me. I learned to trust in my heavenly Father and emulate my earthly one. I longed for the Word of God to fill my heart and understood the lack of words from my dad. I treasure God's promises and admire my dad's qualities. I look to God for strength and observe my dad's courage. I follow God's guidance as my dad is led by his white cane to do chores around the house. I am in awe at God's sustaining power and find myself speechless at my dad's ability to successfully repair the plumbing in our house.
His journey taught me valuable lessons for my own path in the darkness. Much like a baby takes his first steps holding tight to his daddy's hand, my dad held on to God as He stepped from the comfort of our hometown in Bolivia to the unknown in a foreign land. I did the same as I stepped into the unfamiliarity of the sightless world. Holding on to God's hand I gained confidence and learned the language of gratitude.
Rather than lament over the lack of affection, I rejoice with profound appreciation for my dad's example. I saw how he applied a powerful blend of faith and tenacity. The same one I used to fulfill my role as a wife, mom, Sunday school teacher, Spanish court interpreter, inspirational speaker and writer.
Dad still has no tender words for me, but when my first book came out, mom said she placed it in his hands. He clutched it to his chest and tears streamed from his blind eyes.
There is a verse in the Bible that says, “ I waited and waited and waited for GOD. At last he looked; finally he listened. He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud. He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn't slip. (Psalm 40:1-2, The Message). That is exactly what God did for me.
Is there an area of your life that needs restoration?
God is waiting to help put the broken pieces back together. In the Bible it says that God loves the world so much that he sent his son to suffer in our place so that the slate can be wiped clean. Because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross forgiveness is available for everyone. No matter what has happen to us, no matter what we’ve done.
You can receive Christ right now by faith through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here's a suggested prayer:
Lord, I need you now more than ever. I want your peace of mind. In the midst of my broken heart and my pain, I turn to you. Jesus, I ask you to forgive my sins and to give me your peace and comfort. I open the door of my life and put my trust in you.
If you sincerely expressed that prayer to God, you can know that you have a personal relationship with Him. He will be your comfort. God promises us "peace that passes understanding" in other words peace in a world that doesn't make sense. You can know peace and hope even when your world is in turmoil. You can be restored. God does not change. Ever.
~ Jan Eckles Writing and speaking for insight and inspiration. In the midst of life's storms, find a dose of daily inspiration at :
www.janeckles.com/weekly_news.html