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by Gwen MorrisonMother-in-law jokes-we've all heard them. Can we relate? A vast majority will laugh along with those jokes, heard in smoky nightclubs or by office coolers. Many will even nod a quiet understanding of the dreaded mother-in-law. Well, I am here to set the record straight. I don't keep my mother-in-law locked away in a dark, basement coat closet turned in-law suite. I make her as comfortable in my home as I possibly can. Why? I do this because I have the most wonderful mother-in-law in the whole world.
I know it's sappy, but I have to give credit to her, she does not fit what some would call the norm for mother in laws. She doesn't ever interfere with anything I do for and with my family. She actually respects my opinion more than she probably should at times. She even asks for me when she calls, more often than she asks for her son. I am always so flattered.
When I joined the family almost ten years ago, I was a little apprehensive with how they would react to me. This was to be my second marriage, and I was bringing along two small children with me to join the long list of grandchildren. What I found out, very quickly was that not only was I welcomed into the family, but my children were embraced with open arms. Not once in all of these ten years have my children felt that they were not her grandchildren. That, alone, was such a generous gift that she gave me-I will never forget it.
My mother-in-law, Marrion, has had her share of illness, and has been a caregiver to many for decades. I never hear her moan or complain about taking care of anyone, and she rarely accepts the care we offer to her. I have found ways to trick her into letting me do things for her. She was diagnosed with lung cancer a few years back, while still caring for her very sick husband. She never missed a beat-it was amazing. Her strength during that difficult time was equal to none I have ever seen. Where others may have found it difficult to carry on, her patience and endurance surprised us all. We are so proud of her recovery, and her strong will.
Where others may call their mother in laws meddling, I take solace in that she is just a phone call away. She has always been very intuitive when it came to things going on in my life. It's as though she has a sixth sense when it comes to her family.
There have been so many times in the last ten years when she was there for me, for all of us. She was there to witness the birth of our fourth child, and I feel so grateful having had the opportunity to share such an important part of my life with her. She traveled from Canada just last year so that she could spend Christmas with us in Georgia. And it seems that every other month we open the door to find the FedEx man holding another precious package from Grandma, or find a heartfelt poem in the mailbox.
I could go on for pages and pages, but I will end it by saying that not all mother in laws are created alike. In the case of my ‘other mother', I think they must have broken the mold when she was born. She is an enduring pillar of strength in our family, the one person who holds it all together and makes us feel safe. All of us-grandchildren, children, daughters, sons and daughter-in-laws alike. She makes us all family.
©Gwen Morrison 2001
More Family:
When motherhood isn't like the movies
~ Gwen Morrison is a freelance writer and mom of four children, ages 5 through 17. She has definitely "been there, done that" and claims that her family life alone could keep her in material for decades. Her work can be seen in Journaling Magazine, Momversations, Iparenting.com.