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While I was surfing the web I came across an article on husbands with control issues. After reading several articles on traits of a controlling husband, I can see that I fit the description. My wife, whom I love with all my heart, is at her wits end with my constant concern of 'time watching' when she comes home from work and the clothes she wears to work. We are still together after 12 years and have two boys, ages 6 & 8. I can see that I also control many things in their lives and I need to do something before...
You made a good beginning by writing this letter. Have you and your wife talked about your controlling nature? You may find out that she has a dependent personality, and that she likes you to control her. Then she can blame you that her life isn't what she would like it to be. Your boys will also be able to blame you for their boring lives. I suggest that you find a good professional counselor to find out why you need so much control over others.
Do you really think they will mess up their lives if they didn't have you around to tell them who they are and what they should be doing? What would happen if they failed to measure up to your standards? Could they have too much fun in life? What was your childhood like? It really is a lot more fun to watch your loved ones growing, developing and maturing while you stand by encouraging and loving them. Pick up the book "Safe People" by Henry Cloud and let me know what you think. If you are really brave you can get Don't Let the Jerks Get the Best of You by Paul Meyers. Dr. Ginger
Dr. Ginger Gabriel, Ph.D., M.F.T., is an author and speaker as well as a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California. With Master of Arts degrees in counseling and missions and a Ph.D. in psychology, she has traveled to Asia, the Middle East and throughout North American giving her four-to fifteen-hour relationship and counseling skill-building seminars.
Her favorite pastimes are kayaking, quilting, hiking and reading novels. She is married to Dr. Stan Gabriel. They have three children and three grandchildren.